The Problem With The “Sexy Sell”

The other morning, I walked down to the beach like I always do before recording. Toes in the sand, matcha in hand, it’s become my pre-creative ritual. I’d gone with a friend that day, and as we made our way down the brutal beach steps (the kind that remind you you’ve done Pilates the day before), I started telling her about a class I’d been to recently.

It was brilliant, I said, but there’s this recurring theme I keep noticing in classes like Pilates or barre. The sell is always the same:

“Grow your booty.”
“Feel the burn.”
“Walk out with a peachy bum.”

And as I was saying it, we both rolled our eyes. Not because it isn’t what people want, it absolutely is, but because the assumption that it’s what everyone wants feels so off.

Now, full transparency, I’ve had my fair share of body image challenges in my early twenties: exercise addiction, body dysmorphia, the works. So that kind of language doesn’t trigger me anymore, but it does irritate me. Because I don’t go to move my body to “grow a bum.”

I go because I want to feel strong.
To move with ease.
To be grounded in my body as I move through life.

But “feel strong and grounded” doesn’t sell out a class.
“Grow your booty” does.

And that’s when it hit me, this is the sexy sell.

The Allure of the Sexy Sell

In marketing, the sexy sell is the promise everyone wants:

“Booked-out business.”
“10k months.”
“Total transformation.”

It’s shiny, it’s validated, and it works - at first. You put it out there, people get it, the sales roll in, and you feel that instant rush of validation. “Yes, this works. People want what I’m offering.”

But soon, something starts to feel… off.

That initial high is replaced with a kind of stickiness. You start to feel misaligned with your own message. Clients come in expecting one thing, the shiny result, when in truth, your work goes much deeper. And when their experience doesn’t match the outcome you sold, both sides feel it.

That disconnect isn’t just frustrating, it’s draining.

When the Promise and the Process Don’t Match

A friend of mine, a personal trainer, once said that what frustrates her most about the “grow your booty” narrative is that it’s misleading. You don’t grow muscle from Pilates alone. The marketing promise doesn’t match the process.

And that’s exactly what happens in business, too.
You promise “booked-out” , but your work is really about helping someone trust themselves, build confidence, or reconnect with their creativity.

When what’s sold doesn’t match what’s delivered, your conviction cracks. You start to doubt your ability, your clients start to feel disappointed, and suddenly your marketing, and your work, both feel out of integrity.

What We Really Want When We Sell the “Sexy”

When I’ve used the sexy sell in the past, it was always rooted in one thing: wanting my work to feel valuable.
“If people book out their service after working with me, then what I do matters.”
“If they make money, I’m doing my job.”

But when I really looked at it, I realised my value isn’t tied to the outcome.

It’s in the transformation that happens within the work.
It’s in the clients who message me saying,
“I finally get it.”
“I trust myself in my marketing now.”
“I couldn’t wait to share that story.”

That’s the real value.
And it has nothing to do with external validation.

The Shift to Integrity-Based Marketing

These days, I don’t promise results I can’t guarantee. I don’t compete with the sexy sell, I reframe it.

Our job as marketers, as conscious business owners, isn’t just to give people what they think they want. It’s to create awareness around why they want it, and what they might actually need instead.

Because yes, people buy the sexy sell.
But what they stay for, and rave about, is integrity, depth, and transformation that feels real.

A Final Thought

The sexy sell might fill classes or inboxes. But people are craving something real now. Something raw. Something that mirrors the truth of who they are and what they do.

That’s where your marketing becomes magnetic. Not because it’s shiny, but because it’s honest.

If you’d love me to reflect on where your marketing might not be fully mirroring the real depth of your work, I offer free 30-minute calls for exactly that. You can flow, I’ll reflect and together, we’ll spot the disconnects that could be holding your message back.

Spots are limited, but I’d love to hear from you.