Why Integrity In Marketing Can Feel Isolating

“See you Saturday!”

I smile. Confused. Missing something. You know at the X event? Oh no. What do I say? I know, I’ll make out I’m in a rush and slip out. But it’s too late. The sting is already there and follows me around through my food shop, my drive home, my slump onto the sofa. A mutual friend is hosting an event, and while all my other friends were invited, I was not.

 And I’m triggered. 

I dial my mum, hurriedly dump what happened onto her (mental note to ask if she has the space to next time, although I know she’d say she would even if she didn’t), to which she replies, “of course you’re triggered, who wouldn’t be?” Ahh, the exact words I needed to hear, that I’d tried telling myself, but in the moment couldn’t seem to really believe in.

She went on to remind me that I’d been intentionally distancing myself, honouring what feels aligned for me and choosing integrity over popularity in regard to this very dynamic. “Which is something to celebrate, of course, but the sting of what unfolded as a result of that can still exist too.”

And oh, it existed alright.

Inside, the little girl who was excluded, left out, spoken about and made fun of was pacing up and down, arms switching between flapping at her sides and pulling at her hair, repeating “this is bad, very bad” over and over. But the thing is, whilst this particular experience isn’t exactly common, there is a recurring theme nestled in here that has been prevalent over the past few years for me.

You know how your Saturn Return is supposed to bring you home to the truth of who you are… and consequently lead to a crumbling of anything that isn’t in accordance with that as a result?

Well, questioning of my truth has been a prevelant theme for me in recent years.

The veil has lifted on things from friendships, to business plans, locations and everything in-between.

I’ve seen what is authentic for me and what isn’t far more clearly. Learned to prioritise integrity over validation from others. Trusted that certain things need to fall away for more aligned ones to enter. And the flip side of that is that there have been many voids, a lot of isolation, a habit of questioning myself and grieving what I once felt at home in.

This moment right here was a reflection of that. Because I’d chosen to step away and honour what truly serves me, which inevitably meant that I wasn’t going to be invited to the same spaces I once was. And I think it’s a myth that choosing what aligns for us always feels good straight away, or even as one standalone sensation.

Of course, it feels peaceful in the sense that we are finally choosing ourselves, but the very real part of us that would rather belong with others still has feelings, too.

Speaking our truth in marketing is a notion that comes up in many of my client sessions.

The fear of sharing what they want to share, knowing old school friends might mock them for doing so (ironically, this email feels like my own test of that too). Sharing what lights them up, instead of what everyone else in their industry seems to be having success with. Saying the unpopular opinion that will isolate them, not for views or clickbait, but because it’s what they really believe in and embody.

 And sometimes that’s really bloody hard to do.

Sometimes it means being in a space where you are misunderstood, being chosen over someone who boasts more shiny results and no longer receiving the praise from those who benefited from an older (often misaligned) version of you.

And whilst it’s absolutely worth it for the peace (and the kind of business growth that is actually aligned) that comes with being who you truly are, it’s not always easy.

Because integrity can mean isolation.

 I know for me, it meant sitting in on that particular Saturday night whilst my friends partied without me.

And in business, it’s meant unfollows, disagreeing comments and old “fans” of my work no longer resonating with it, which feels like its own kind of isolation too.

 But the thing is, I’d choose the discomfort, triggers and voids over the alternative requiring me to abandon myself any day (well, maybe not the days pre Saturn-return, let’s be honest).

And that’s what standing in the truth of what we are here to move with the real depth of our work requires of us.

Which is what I’m opening up about in this week's episode.

Oh, and by the way, I very nearly didn't hit publish on this because ooof it feels sticky. But I also know that the message is bigger than my discomfort and the nudge of “someone, somewhere needs to hear this” is loud and clear. 

So here goes…